How to bring self-esteem in order?
Self-esteem can be compared with immunity. When we have a good immunity, you and I are protected from many small diseases, and when weakened, then everything will drown in our own snot. So does self-esteem. When it is underestimated, we are vulnerable to the mass of petty troubles that we face almost every day. The guy didn’t call, didn’t give a bonus, they got nasty in the store - any little thing can ruin the mood of a person with low self-esteem. Self-confidence such a nonsense is not broken.
The root of "evil"
Understand that with your self-esteem is not all right, it's quite simple. If you often speak about yourself in a negative way, are in a bad mood, strive for excellence in everything, but cannot reach it at all, constantly have a feeling of guilt, then these are possible signs of self-doubt.
By the way, here is another sign, rather curious. Let's do a little test. How do you feel about criticism? How do you feel yourself,when someone negatively speaks about your ideas, achievements, new hairstyle or competence in any matter? Do you gladly accept criticism? Congratulations! Your self-esteem is probably too low. Unusually to hear this? Still would! We have always been taught to accept criticism with gratitude. I will tell you a secret: people with low self-esteem accept criticism more readily for the simple reason that it corresponds to their opinion of themselves. Not the highest opinion. Such people do not even want to make compliments, because they do not accept them. They do not believe that they deserve praise or appreciation. This can and must be fought.
No matter how trite it may sound, but it all starts with self-love. Every day you are accustomed to using simple, inconspicuous things and forgetting that you have things that you leave for a “special occasion”: a set, beautiful underwear, expensive shoes. It seems to you that using it every day is wrong. Where do you get adequate self-esteem if you do not consider yourself worthy to wear Jimmy Choo shoes or drink tea from an expensive tea pair in the morning? Do you feel sorry that all this will quickly wear out or break? True sorry? Do you feel sorry for your favorite cup? What nonsense!
Find the root cause
Try to determine where your self-doubt came from. Most often, it stretches from childhood, when it places high demands on the child, constantly sets someone as an example, and it reinforces the belief that it is not good enough compared to the others. And this confidence children carry with them into adulthood. But in some cases, self-esteem falls in people who have always been confident in themselves. For example, my friend, being a slender beauty all her life, suffered greatly because she recovered after giving birth. She just was not used to living in such a body. It oppressed her until she returned the former forms. Pay attention to the men in your surroundings. Often they are the “culprits” of low self-esteem of a woman. For men, you know, women who are unsure of themselves are very comfortable - they are easier to manipulate and hang feelings of guilt on them.
Eliminate the cause
If the cause of your complexes is as clear as day, then you can try to eliminate it. Consider if this is possible and start working in this direction. If you are confused by a small breast, then you can turn to plastic surgeons.If you are afraid of failure in some business, just remind yourself that no one and every mistake is safe from any mistakes is a unique experience.
Appreciate the comfort zone
Many psychologists advise you to leave the comfort zone, to start doing what you don’t really want, in order to gain confidence in yourself, but ultimately you can get the exact opposite effect. Do what you do and what you like. The success that you do best gives you inspiration and self-esteem.
Set realistic goals
When you seek to accomplish something that weakly matches reality, you increase the likelihood of feeling like a failure. I understand that you have always dreamed of becoming a ballerina, but if you do not have the appropriate data and "vyvorotnosti", then you are doomed to failure. Be realistic.
Accept sincere praise
Have you been told that you look good today? Do not immediately think that you looked bad before. Thinking out for people in general is not necessary. This is a dead end road. Do you look good today? Perfectly! They said thank you and went on business. Did someone appreciate your work? Super! Isn't that what you wanted? Have guests complimented your treats? Do not be modest. You deserve praise, because you really put your soul into cooking, spent time and energy.
Concentrate on yourself
Why do people suffer because of low self-esteem? Because they are too dependent on someone's opinion. Do not try to please everyone and impress everyone, it is still unreal. It is better to focus your attention on what you really need and do not allow others to influence you.
Remember you are not alone
It is necessary to realize that every second or even the first person on the Earth has complexes. But some struggle with them, others have learned to live with them, and still others suffer because of them. Moreover, those who have a real reason for this do not suffer more often. For example, among my acquaintances there are full girls who perfectly feel themselves in their body, do not complex and are quite happy, but there are also thin people who are always unhappy with their appearance, and as a result because of the negativity in which they are immersed , can not fully enjoy life.
Ideal people do not exist, and if you analyze all your alleged shortcomings, then you will be surprised to find that most of them are simply conceived and do not deserve to be worried about them.
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